Reflections on my 33rd birthday

Every January, I pick a "word of the year." My word for 2023 is "EXPRESS." I set a big creative goal to launch a podcast about pathways to heal from burnout and have been working with an amazing podcast editor to bring my vision to life.

Winter felt long. Between the storms, the constant power outages, canceled/rescheduled events, juggling my part-time job, my business and toddler-momming, I started burning out. 

Then our whole household got COVID, and I finally rested. And I felt so much better.

On my 33rd birthday on Easter Sunday, emerging on the other side of COVID, I picked another word for this year: "REST."

Then, my podcast editor emailed me that she is shutting down her business and terminating our contract effective immediately because she is burned out. She told me to "make sure you have everything saved from the shared google drive folder because I will be deleting it in 14 calendar days."

The irony (I think more like synchronicity) that the creator and editor of a podcast about burnout are burned out is not lost on me.

And yes universe, I got the message. I'm not going to save the audio files. 

I don't need to talk more, I need to feel more. I don't need more information, I need more integration. I don't need to produce more, I need to rest more.

I have two words of the year now. "REST and "EXPRESS". They might seems contradictory, but they are two sides if the same coin.

Deep rest allows for our truest expression. Our truest expression allows for deep rest.

Here are the questions I'm sitting with on my 33rd trip around the sun:

What would be possible in my life if I were deeply rested?

How would my relationships shift?

How would my creative life open up?

How would my body feel? Would I have a different relationship with pain? With pleasure? 

How would my sensuality be transformed?

How would my mothering evolve?

How would my work change?

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