Yesterday Ngugi and I celebrated 2 years of marriage. We ate burgers, fries and milkshakes, went to the spa, and connected. We talked about our past and present, and dreamed about our future. It was exactly how we both like to celebrate. Intimate, sober, reflective, joyful, playful, connected.
Historically, I have avoided and/or dreaded most celebrations. As an empath/HSP, big gatherings are overstimulating and I need to numb my senses in some way to make it through. Especially something like a birthday party or baby shower where I am supposed to be the center of attention and everyone is looking at me? No thank you. My worst nightmare. I also always want to burst into tears at some point during every celebration and feel conscious about that. Every celebration is an ending and a beginning, but societal standards don't allow much space for the grief of the ending part. They tell us celebrations are supposed to be one thing only: happy.
Our wedding was the first time I really gave myself permission to plan a celebration in the way I wanted to celebrate. Again - intimate, sober, reflective, joyful, playful, connected. It was perfect, and I felt why celebrations are so, so essential for feeling alive. For feeling all the feelings that come with endings and beginnings. For marking beauty in our lives.
A reminder for all the sensitive souls out there: you get to celebrate however you want, and you MUST celebrate if you want to feel connected and alive. Also - it’s your party and you can cry if you want to :)
p.s. I would love to practice yoga with you! Check out my free practice bundles HERE.