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I've spent most of my life trying to "fit into the box"

The following words are inspired by a quote from Anne Cushman: “ Practice your yoga as a way of opening the boxes you have put yourself inside, not jamming yourself into more of them.”

I think I used to know how to move my body without being told how to move. I must have, right? My child knows, for now. She spontaneously stomps her feet, throws her arms up in the air, dances to the beat, flails around, stretches.

I’ve spent a lot of time learning how to move my body “properly.” Thousands and thousands of hours in yoga asana classes practicing how to externally rotate my shoulder, how to distribute the weight onto my inner and outer heel evenly, how to draw my floating ribs in, how to balance on that exact point on the top of my head. Thousands of hours sitting stick straight in meditation. Thousands of hours learning and following the rules as perfectly and consistently as I could.

I’ve gained so much from learning the rules and following them. Discipline, mastery of form, focus, praise, reverence for tradition. The “yoga box” I put myself into was so supportive. So much structure, predictability, safety. Such a sense of clarity and progression.

My “yoga box”, like any structure when taken to the extreme, started to feel restrictive. Boring. Stale. Confining. It wasn’t until recently (truthfully until experiencing the incredible embodiment journey of pregnancy and childbirth) that I realized how much I have been missing out on in my experience of being in my body. Missing out on so much spontaneity, play, joy, curiosity, emotional range, responsiveness, possibility, wonder, awe, wildness, attunement, sensitivity.

I don't want to “learn” movement anymore. Our bodies know how to move. I want to unlearn the ways I have been conditioned to move and be in my body. Unlearn my way back to my sensitivity. Unlearn my way back to my inner-knowing. Unlearn my way back to Shakti.

p.s. I would love to practice yoga with you! Check out my free practice bundles HERE.


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